they ought to drown him in holy water

location . headphones at work temp . 61 humidity . 53% conditions . no one's wise enough to turn this ancient boat around

looks like i'm still crisp like fried chicken. only, it's all peeling off. somehow it's still crispy. this doesn't make much sense. you'd think i would be used to sunburns by now. or at least have skin cancer, COME ON.
see, my parents (bless them, hi mom and dad) thought that buying a ski boat when 'us kids' were young was a BRILLIANT idea. i have to admit, i was a pretty cute little youngster with my ski's tied together. i was an even cuter 3rd grader with my very own slalom ski. some of my best memories from childhood revolve around that ski boat (my very worst memory revolves around that year my dad was my soccer coach on an all-boys team, and he was going to start me in the game, but he had 12 people on the field, and who did he call off? ME! that's right! HIS OWN DAUGHTER). sunburns were a weekly occurrence, but none were as bad as that FIRST trip in the boat. i'm not sure what was distracting my parents (beer?), but NO sunscreen was applied to either myself or tristan. as it was mother's day weekend, we had to go to school the next day, and i remember being called into the principal's office to discuss if my parents were being negligent and if they needed to call child services... BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT MOM AND DAD!

the shins . mine's not a high horse